i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
