i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
