Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
