laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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