now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
