my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
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