i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize