she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize