Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
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