If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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