We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
