I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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