Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
