My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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