butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
