oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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