Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
