can we get nightvision for the apartment?
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
