oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
We talked him into tasing himself.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
