Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
this will be a night to untag.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Randomize