Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
