I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Randomize
