butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
