Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
