I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Never underestimate the power of titties
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
