Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
