Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
40s are totally the cure
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize