no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Randomize
