JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
