She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize