I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
