I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
