i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
The power of my boobs compel you
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize