Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
All I want is dick and wine.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
