You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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