Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
