we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
