so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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