I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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