He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
It's blow job season.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Randomize