So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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