I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
