Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
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