Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
