I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
