this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize