No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
