The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
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