Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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