Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Randomize
