OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Randomize
