I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
i now understand why vodka
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize