I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Randomize
