I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
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