its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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