My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
