You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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