So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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